When Leadership Turns Toxic
Have you ever been shut out by someone in spiritual authority?
Not because you sinned.
Not because you were divisive.
But because you stood for truth… and they didn’t like it.
Some of the deepest church wounds don’t come from strangers.
They come from leaders who abuse their position to silence others.
3 John 10 gives us a window into this very problem.
And the warning it holds is just as urgent today.
Big Idea: Toxic Leaders Silence Truth and Shut Out the Faithful
In this one verse, John exposes the tactics of a man named Diotrephes—a church leader who rejected truth, slandered others, and isolated faithful believers.
This wasn’t just pride.
It was spiritual sabotage.
Let’s look at how this happens—and how you can stay anchored in truth.
1. They Spread Slander to Control the Narrative
“…spreading malicious nonsense against us…”
John isn’t vague.
Diotrephes wasn’t just proud—he was vicious with his words.
The Greek word here is katalalia (καταλαλία), which means:
malicious gossip
slander
speech designed to defame
This wasn’t a misunderstanding.
It was a smear campaign against the truth.
Proverbs 6:16–19 says God hates “a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”
Slander isn’t just sinful—it’s strategic.
It’s how toxic leaders hold onto power:
discredit the opposition
twist the truth
shift the narrative
âś… Godly leaders build up.
Toxic leaders tear down.
Ask yourself:
Have I witnessed this kind of gossip in my church? Did I respond with truth—or retreat in fear?
2. They Refuse Fellowship to Isolate God’s People
“…he refuses to welcome the brothers…”
In the early church, hospitality wasn’t just polite—it was vital.
Believers traveling for the gospel needed open homes and open arms.
But Diotrephes slammed the door.
Why?
Because welcoming faithful believers would have threatened his control.
Still happens today:
Faithful people get excluded.
Those who speak truth are labeled “troublemakers.”
Genuine fellowship gets replaced with gatekeeping.
Romans 12:13 commands: “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”
Isolation isn’t just cold—it’s a weapon.
And toxic leaders use it to starve people of encouragement and connection.
âś… True Christian leaders welcome.
False ones withhold.
Ask yourself:
Am I helping create a culture of fellowship—or enabling isolation?
3. They Reject Accountability and Ignore Correction
“…not satisfied with that…”
That phrase stings.
Diotrephes didn’t stop at slander.
He didn’t stop at isolation.
He kept going.
Why? Because no one could correct him.
He refused the apostle John’s authority.
Ignored warnings.
Shut his ears to truth.
Proverbs 15:31 says:
“Whoever heeds life-giving correction will dwell among the wise.”
But Diotrephes had no interest in wisdom.
Only control.
Toxic leaders aren’t just stubborn.
They’re untouchable.
They build systems where they answer to no one—so their sin stays hidden.
âś… Humble leaders invite accountability.
Toxic leaders flee from it.
Ask yourself:
Am I open to correction from wise, godly voices—or do I explain it away?
Final Word: Don’t Let Fear Silence Your Faith
You don’t have to be a pastor to recognize a Diotrephes.
And you don’t need a title to stand for truth.
But you do need courage.
Courage to speak when others won’t.
Courage to welcome those who’ve been pushed out.
Courage to stay faithful—when leadership fails.
Toxic leaders don’t just harm people.
They muzzle truth and weaken the church.
But God has always preserved a remnant—those who stand firm, love deeply, and refuse to be silenced.
You can be part of that remnant.